Asking Eric: A, B, and C live in the same apartment building. A invites B to go to lunch. Can B invite C?

DEAR ERIC: A, B, and C live in the same senior apartment building. A invites B to go to lunch or a movie or any social gathering. Can B suggest they invite C? My friend says that is bad manners. I say the opposite. Who is right?
– Social Rules
DEAR SOCIAL: Some of this depends on context. Inviting a third person to a movie is different from inviting them to, say, your friend’s niece’s baby shower. But asking for permission beforehand is, generally, good form. Moreover, it can bring up the kind of unspoken rules that can result in bruised feelings if broken.
It sounds like you’re trying to expand your social circle (presuming you’re B). Your friend may feel insecurity or shyness, or she simply may not want to hang out with C. I don’t see the ask as bad manners, but what’s most important is why your friend sees it that way. Asking a follow-up question like “is there a time when inviting C would be better for you?” or simply “can you tell me why you feel that way?” will help you understand each other more clearly.
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
©2024 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.